just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have aggressive nipples.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Shame is for Republicans.
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