what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
