His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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