sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
