how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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