At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
