She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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