I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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