All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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