is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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