He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
