That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
