Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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