Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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