YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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