matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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