I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
