I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
