Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
