I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
