Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
