i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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