So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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