Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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