I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Damn victory sex feels great
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