woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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