You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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