There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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