Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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