You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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