His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
