You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
