is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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