Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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