just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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