Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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