I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
