She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
