woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
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You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
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The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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