Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
