i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
