so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
