my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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