I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize