That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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