Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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