Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The adults are the big ones right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
