I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Buhtt sex?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
