Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
