I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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