Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
