Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
