I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
