whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
