she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
