I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
