Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When are your genitals available?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
