For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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