He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
