Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize