Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
